Learning to Love Yourself Again

Codependency can create problems in romantic relationships, familial relationships, and platonic relationships. In a desire to please the other party, those who are codependent become uncomfortable with themselves and put the needs of others over their own happiness. This leads to feeling of low self-esteem and worth, which will have a destructive impact on all of your relationships in life.

Here are a few ways in which you can fight to overcome codependency.

Learn to love yourself, unconditionally

Before you can begin to change the relationship you have with others, you first have to change the relationship you have with yourself. Get to know yourself, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes. Get in tune with what brings you joy that’s solely yours and yours alone. Be comfortable in your own skin and you’ll be able to appreciate all of the simple things that make you the person you are. 

Practice clear and effective communication

Learn to be direct when it comes to communicating how you feel to someone else. One of the biggest issues in codependency is that you sacrifice yourself in order to please someone else. Leave as little room for interpretation as possible, so any possibility of miscommunication is left out of the equestion. If someone asks you to attend an event that you don’t want to attend, be open and direct in stating that you don’t want to go. You no longer have to feel like a martyr, speak up for yourself and take back your sense of agency.

Set healthy boundaries

In your journey of self-discovery, figuring out what your own personal boundaries are is extremely important. Dig deep and discover what actions or words that your emotions respond negatively to. Once you find that line, you have to stand firm in your relationships and communicate exactly where that line is. This can protect both your mental and physical health and it will also allow you to better understand the you that usually gets pushed to the background. 

Accept your imperfections

Self love can only be obtained once you accept that you are a flawed individual. Striving for perfection is admirable, but you have to realize that it is an impossible task. The moment you realize this, you will be less harsh on yourself and your perceived shortcomings. The journey doesn’t end the moment you have a setback. Continue to grow, to learn, to strengthen your relationship with yourself. Your worth and value don’t rest on making others happy. Your happiness is just as important as anyone else’s.